GONE!

You have supported my consciousness, heart,
for over sixty-one years.
Tonight you've decided to do something different.
For over six decades quietly
you played Ravel's Bolero–
Now you're a wild man tapping so loud
Joplin's Elite Syncopations
I cannot sleep. (You will,
says the Sandman, bye-bye)
First I must thank you for feeding
the sham that says my in the brain,
no more real than the Wizard of Oz–
Where is that boy who first felt your power
reciting the Pledge of Allegiance
in the spring of 1952?
I remember feeling terrified:
this is my heart. I cannot control it–
Then how can this be my heart?
Then I almost completely forgot you.
Remember the night you raced over 100
when I gave Lynn Schildknecht a kiss?
You pumped yourself up during sex,
brought yourself down during sleep,
reliable as pulsars in between–
Thinking the tom-tom inside
isn't I, isn't I, isn't I
frightened a six year old child–
Now the thought that you might stop
worries me as much as waves
imagine themselves lost at sea–
So what if sick valves pingpong
an embolus to a wise brain?
Mine as well as anybody's,
thanks for underlying thought
for sixty plus difficult years; God,
where are you/where is he now?

Brief Note: A friend, with whom I had lunch recently, brought along an article about the new recommendations for taking blood thinners if you have atrial fibrillation. (If your score is zero on what's called the CHAD2 scale, you needn't take any blood thinner at all.)  I was very interested in reading the article, but left it on the restaurant table.  My friend drove back and fished it out of the trash.  Well, I was interested in the article but not so interested to read an article soggy with traces of the eggplant gyro I had for lunch. The new guidelines were published in the medical journal, Chest, and I accessed it online.  Then I remember I had a poem in this journal, which I had nearly completely forgotten.  This was online too, so I decided to add it to my poetry blog.
The poem on its surface deals with atrial fibrillation, but the real theme is a Hindu one, namely the illusory nature of personal identity--which, by the way, is consistent with science.  The last verse refers to the protagonist being subsumed into cosmic consciousness, a very happy and wise state.  If you haven't experiences this as yet, I hope you will.