I came off the bottle screaming;
until it became my sole friend
decades later, hope kept me weaned
on pure lies. Now that youth
is long past, I face facts:
my only fear is life itself;
weaning a baby from whiskey again and again
my sole acts of bravery.
(My father's cruel binges taught me
cowardice
may have nothing to do with fulfillment or God
but it's safe.)
As I child I pictured heaven
as my own room where I
curl beneath the thickest blankets
with heroes on TV forever and
that's what I got and it's hell.
Thomas Dorsett
First published In The Chaffin Journal, 2002
Note: When I gave a course in Rilke at the Towson University Osher Institute.a few years back, I put online three essays in which I compare a poem by Rilke with two poems by two other poets. These essays were for the students primarily, but have since been read by many others.. One of these essays was entitled "Three Poems About Alcoholism," in which I compare a poem by Rilke with one by Roethke and one by a fellow named Lessetier. I was being modest--and deservedly so in this company--Lessetier was a name I made up. The poem in question was "The Drunkard," which is posted here. If you would like to read the essay, please look up my blog, thomasdorsettosher.blogspot.com or google Thomasdorsett Three Essays about Alcohol.
until it became my sole friend
decades later, hope kept me weaned
on pure lies. Now that youth
is long past, I face facts:
my only fear is life itself;
weaning a baby from whiskey again and again
my sole acts of bravery.
(My father's cruel binges taught me
cowardice
may have nothing to do with fulfillment or God
but it's safe.)
As I child I pictured heaven
as my own room where I
curl beneath the thickest blankets
with heroes on TV forever and
that's what I got and it's hell.
Thomas Dorsett
First published In The Chaffin Journal, 2002
Note: When I gave a course in Rilke at the Towson University Osher Institute.a few years back, I put online three essays in which I compare a poem by Rilke with two poems by two other poets. These essays were for the students primarily, but have since been read by many others.. One of these essays was entitled "Three Poems About Alcoholism," in which I compare a poem by Rilke with one by Roethke and one by a fellow named Lessetier. I was being modest--and deservedly so in this company--Lessetier was a name I made up. The poem in question was "The Drunkard," which is posted here. If you would like to read the essay, please look up my blog, thomasdorsettosher.blogspot.com or google Thomasdorsett Three Essays about Alcohol.
